Let me look, look in your book.
Let me look, in your cookery book.
Let me look, look in your book.
Let me look, in your cookery book.
Take one large elephant
One gallon of oil
One hundred onions
And a pound of chillies
Add a pinch of salt
Chop the elephant into small pieces
Fry the onions
Add elephant
and cook on a low heat for 4 weeks
Let me look, look in your book.
Let me look, in your cookery book.
Lunch for one
Isn't fun for anyone
Cook for two
Is what you need to do
Take one moose
And lots of chocolate
A bucket of cream
Chop the moose into chunks
And fold in the cream
Simmer till March
Or until it turns brown
Then cover with chocolate
and it's ready to eat
Let me look, look in your book.
Let me look, in your cookery book.
Pea soup.
Lunch for one
isn't fun for anyone
cook for two
is what you need to do
Take one chicken
One banana
One hundred chillies
Twelve onions
Six eggs
One pint of lager
One packet of crisps
Place the ingredients into a large pan
And leave for three weeks
Cookery Book
© Tyrone Schulace and his Pals 2013
Bend like the willow, go with the flow
Leave stuff behind, let stuff go
Pass the hat, throw the shoe
Toss the pot, take a pew
Arse about, bum around
Homeward bound, safe and sound
On Soundcloud
Corduroy Kingston, he's full of surprises
Even his ears are of different sizes
One is very small and of no use at all
The other one's huge and wins prizes
Oh Corduroy
Bitter, unsuccessful loser
wallowing in an unending sea of inert drooping loneliness
looking for a twenty three year old needy leach-like hanger-on
Local man, medium build, seeks alibi for Thursday night
anything considered
Bad tempered, foul mouthed, barnacled, sea-faring man
seeks attractive twenty one year old blonde lady with big chest
Corduroy Kingston lonely hearts
Placing his ads in Exchange & Mart
Serving up charisma only it's tinned
His nose hair's always blowing in the wind
Oh Corduroy
Hmmm Corduroy
Corduroy Kingston, he's unique
He places his ads nearly every week
The ladies answer - but all should beware
He dried those dishes with his underwear
Oh Corduroy Corduroy Kingston
Oh Corduroy Corduroy Kingston